"Give me the bag of potatoes, and maybe the 12 pack of sodas. Okay, that's pretty good" As I stare down at the contents I can still see the suspect bag peeking out from under the Diet Coke. My children are a bit baffled, but are wise enough not to question my motives.

"Was that Jordan's mom I saw when we first walked in?" I pressed my oldest daughter.

"Oh, I don't know?"

"Oh, whatever! Why should I care?!"

I start to get brave, but then reconsider. "I need that magazine you're holding," I demand. I open the magazine and palce it over the protruding corner of "The Bag." It probably draws more attention to my cart, than if it wasn't in there at all. Who puts an opened-up magazine in their cart? Okay, I am really over thinking this whole thing.

Should I care that I am buying the "Large Adult Pull-up Briefs with Expandable Sides'? Or as my Mom has come to refer to them as, "Daddy's Diapers." Would it be easier if they were the smalls? Is it a size thing I'm worried about? So what if someone sees them in my cart. They have to know they are not for me, right? I mean, my jeans don't look like they are concealing something like this?

"Okay guys, remember we are going over to GRANDMA'S and GRANDPA's because these groceries are FOR THEM!"

The startled looks of my children at the check stand make me realize I might be talking a little too loudly. I smile at the young female checker, and she barely bats an eye at the contents of my cart. I suddenly get a sense of impending doom. What if they don't scan? What if they need a price check? What if she asks,"Paper or plastic for your diapers?"

Fortunately, I get out with the contents and no issues! This time!

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