Feb

5
2008-02-05
The thrill is gone, and grandma still needs help


Now that grandma is settled into the assisted living place all of the family has backed off. It was such a grueling couple of months trying to get her settled into the apartment and then with the hospital stay... her life monopolized all of ours. Now she is feeling "put out to pasture" (her words) because she feels stuck in an environment she hasn't prepared herself for. I feel bad because I have a hard time fitting her into my schedule and when I do have time, I have started to look at some of the time I spend with her as an obligation. I still love her dearly, but she is so down and negative when I see her that I am having a hard time relating to her in the same way I used to. I want to give her space to come to terms with her new life (loss of financial independence and mobility), but I am having a more difficult time with it than I thought. I thought getting her into a safe and beautiful environment would solve everything, but it has just created a new set of issues.

Having my grandma and my three year old on the same outing is not good. I have realized that they both have the same level of needs. I don't mean any disrespect to my grandmother, but she has become extremely demanding about things. She has also lost some perspective about time. My son is becoming less and less interested in going places with great grandma because I seem to be tending to her needs more than his. He's not real thrilled to be sharing me with her. Neat....another layer to this....

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